Velleity (noun) - a wish or inclination not strong enough to lead to action
Life seems to be full of "what ifs" for me. Some of the most regrettable decisions I've ever made have been because I simply didn't make a decision at all. I sit and watch the world go by, I see opportunities come and go and rarely do anything to stop what seems to me to be the natural course of things. Sure, I certainly wish that things would go a different way sometimes, but I can't muster up the strength of will to change the outcome myself.
What was that song Doris Day sang? Que Sera, Sera. Whatever will be, will be. It really is a lovely song, and a nice sentiment, but I do worry occasionally that this mindset could be damaging to my future. The friendships that I've let slip through my fingers simply because I didn't want to impose myself on anyone, and the relationships that could have been if I'd only spoken up about how I truly felt.
I suppose there's a fine line between believing that everything happens for a reason and actively refusing to make anything happen for yourself. It's definitely something that I should strive to ameliorate - to begin to step away from velleity and grow stronger in, and less afraid of, my own volition.
As with any self improvement venture, I firmly believe in baby steps. Doing too much at once can be absolutely overwhelming! Sharing some of my feelings on the subject has certainly improved my overall mood, and that is a great start, wouldn't you say?